Oh, us village ladies do love Freddy
Always stood at his stall, good and ready
Get your five a day here and some more,
I’ve got wonderous goodies galore!
You know what they say, keeps the GP away
Two quid for five apples – I eat one every day!
He does like an advert, a blatant promotion
And when he starts singing, it’s quite a commotion!
Environmentally friendly and good for the planet
Try my plums, they’re homegrown, just a quid for a punnet!
He’ll pack up your fruit in a brown paper bag
(Then sneak out the back for a quick cheeky fag).
He’ll draw funny pictures on those bags made of paper,
Oh, Fred loves a joke and a laugh and a caper!
Apples, pears, bananas, all in peak, peachy condition
Try one of my cherries, you have my permission!
He’ll give you a nod, a wink and a big cheeky grin
Oh, he’d get away with murder if you’d just let him!
When Fred’s feeling exotic, he sells melon and figs
If he feels a bit cold, then he’ll dance a quick jig.
Keep your fruit bowl attractive and full to the brim
Then you’ll eat less cake and keep your hips nice and trim!
Oh Frederick, you’re cheeky and we like you a lot
Do we mind if you’re naughty? Oh no, we do not!
Tina Cathleen MacNaughton
From On the Shoulders of Lions, which will be published by Choir Press, at the end of July. Contact Tina [email protected] for an early bird copy at a special price of £7, plus delivery if necessary.
