By Sarah Browning
Have you come across the concept of ‘glimmers’? The internet was awash with these small moments of joy at times last year, with people posting videos of beautiful gardens, swimming in lakes, kittens playing and other special moments.
The term itself was coined by a social worker in the US, Debs Dana, who works with people experiencing complex trauma.
“Glimmers are… tiny moments of joy, the moments of ‘okayness’ that take us away from being stuck in this challenging world we’re in,” she told the HuffPost. But she’s careful to point out that these moments are not about pretending bad days and bad things don’t exist. It’s about finding moments of joy to make the difficult stuff more bearable.
Not the only story
This concept is really similar to the way that I talk about noticing kindness. By noticing when people are kind to each other, we are not pretending that everyone is kind. Or that everyone is kind all the time. We’re just saying that the story of negativity and bad treatment isn’t the only one.
Some people have told me that the stories I share via my Time for Kindness programme are glimmers in their world. Reading about kind acts makes them feel positive and hopeful. They are desperate for something upbeat to balance out the bad news.
Personal differences
One of the interesting things about glimmers is how personal they are to each of us. The things that bring me joy may not be the same as the ones that put a spring in your step. In fact, it may be that something you find relaxing triggers a negative response in me. For example, I’m not a strong swimmer, so open-water swimming (which many people find calming) would not bring me joy, I would be terrified.
When I researched definitions of kindness for this column, I found that there was no single definition. Most of the explanations I found included common elements (action, choice, intention and positive impact) but were not exactly the same.
I really enjoy seeing how those elements play out in the stories of kindness that people send in for me to share through Time for Kindness. The differences in understanding of kindness are illustrated by the variety of actions and scenarios that crop up.
Uplifting experiences
Despite all these variations, I think the most important thing is that there is a positive side to seeing kindness. If you spot someone doing something kind, it should feel uplifting. People sometimes talk about having their ‘faith in humanity’ restored or tell me that they have realised there are more ‘good people’ than they thought. But your story doesn’t have to be so dramatic, it can be something really small and simple.
Recently a fellow passenger called out to me that I had dropped my gloves as I was about to get on the train – a small act that made a difference. That was definitely one of my glimmers that day. What are your glimmers?
Sarah Browning is a Kindness Cheerleader, Communicator and Strategist. For more inspiring stories of kindness, visit: www.timeforkindness.co.uk
