A VIGIL was held in the borough, to mark the start of 16 Days of Activism against Gender-Based Violence.
Around 40 people, men and women, joined together outside Wokingham Town Hall to start the 16 Days campaign, and to remember the lives of 87 UK woman and girls victims of femicide.
Activism against Gender-Based Violence is an annual international campaign.
It starts on November 25, the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, and runs until Human Rights Day on December 10.
It comes shortly after White Ribbon Day, held on November 25, which encourages men and boys to take action to end violence against women.
Some behaviours and words may seem ‘harmless’ say campaigners, but normalising them ignores the short and long-term effects on women, and can lead to more extreme violence.
The Wokingham vigil was organised by Founder and CEO of Kaleidoscopic UK Vickie Robertson, WBC executive member for gender-based violence Cllr Sarah Kerr, WTC mayor Cllr Sally Gurney, WTC Cllr Maria Gee and WTC Cllr Louise Timlin.
Speakers at the event included Ms Robertson, borough poet Fiona Dignan, WBC Cllr David Hare, and Cllr Gurney.
Cllr Kerr began the vigil began with an affirmation, echoed by the group: I am enough. I am loved. It’s ok not to be ok.
Ms Robertson said: “We’re holding this vigil today in the hope of ending violence against women.
“The campaign may run for 16 days, but violence happens here and in the world, every second of every day.
“Gender based violence includes harassment and stalking, with 70% of girls globally facing street harassment at least once in their life, and one form of sexual harassment twice or more.
“The candles you hold remember the 100 women killed globally each year.
“And in our country, three women a week are murdered at the hands of a current or former partner,” she continued.
“Women should be safe in their homes, and in any place they choose to go.
“Girls are taught to walk holding keys between their fingers, to cross the road, avoid certain areas, and to wear certain clothes.
“The onus is on women and girls to avoid attacks, but the responsibility is not ours.
“Thames Valley Police received 56,000 calls about domestic abuse this year.”
Ms Robertson ended by asking people to continue to make it clear that there is no room for victim blaming, and no excuse for violence.
Fiona Dignan then shared a poem she wrote for the event, called, This Isn’t a Love Story.
In reverse order, this described gradually increasingly violent events leading up to the death of a woman at the hand of her dangerous partner.
It compared the journey to the slow boiling alive of a crab in warm water.
Diane from Kaleidoscopic then read out the names of the 87 UK women and girls killed this year as a result of femicide.
This was followed by a minute of silence, after which, White Ribbon ambassador WBC Cllr David Hare, spoke.
“This is our responsibility, as men,” he said.
“We need to speak up and stop this, men have got to stand up and say, that this is wrong, and sexual and physical abuse must not continue.
“We need to call it out at the pub, at work, at our recreation, wherever and whenever we see women abused, demeaned or ridiculed.”
Jackie Mokono from Newbury based Project Salama echoed his words, saying that it was time for men to change the story and to refuse to participate in misogynistic banter.
“We need to put an end to gender-based violence,” she said.
“There is no excuse for it.”
Finally, Cllr Sally Gurney performed a poem by Reagan Myers called, The Girl Becomes Gasoline.
Conversational to start with, it describes a woman’s experience of being made to feel that she has no right to her own space, and ends with a warning that abusing women ‘stokes a flame that risks burning down the whole house’.
“If you take one thing from this tonight, be angry,” said Cllr Gurney.
“It’s okay to be angry about this.
“That doesn’t mean being aggressive, but it does mean standing your ground and taking up the space that you have a right to.”
Sarah Kerr closed the vigil with an encouragement for people to teach young men to challenge misogyny wherever they see it.
“It will benefit everyone, including men,” she said, and reminded women not to be silent, but to seek out help when they need it.
Ms Robertson said: “Feedback has been very positive.
“People have said how impactful the event was, and that it made them think more carefully about how they might be a part of the solution.
“Fiona’s poem really got to those of us who have experienced domestic violence, and we agreed that she had captured it perfectly, sad as that may be.
“It was so encouraging to see that members of both Wokingham Borough Council and Wokingham Town Council were actively involved in supporting the event.
“It makes me feel that perhaps we are one step ahead in the borough.”
For more information about the UN 16 Days of Activism, visit: www.unwomen.org
To learn about Project Salama, a charity that supports victims of domestic abuse within minority communitites particularly, log onto: www.projectsalama.co.uk and for survivor-led support, visit: www.kaleidoscopic.uk.
Wokingham Borough Council’s domestic abuse support system can be found at: www.directory.wokingham.gov.uk (search for ‘domestic abuse’).
For emergency help, visit: www.berkshirewomensaid.org.uk
Berkshire Womens’ Aid emergency number is: 0808 801 0882.
Calls to this helpline are free from landlines and mobile phones within the UK, and do not appear on itemised bills.
Anyone experiencing domestic violence can call Cranstoun on: 0118 402 1921
And in a non emergency, people can call 101 or make a report on the Thames Valley Police website.
