THE PERFECT MURDER, The Mill at Sonning, Thursday, January 22, Directed by Keith Myers
“The perfect murder is the one we never hear about…”
Husband and wife Victor and Joan Smiley both want out. They’ve both wanted out for a long time, but neither have had the guts to leave. But when they both start having extra-marital affairs, the mood takes a sinister shift, and thoughts begin to turn to murder.
Victor, played by The Bill and Coronation Street star Andrew Paul, is obsessed with two things: eastern-European prostitute Kamila Walcak (Aneta Piotrowska), and murder mysteries. He has been planning to run away with Kamila with a payout from the life insurance he has taken out on his wife, but first he must do the deed. But how? After studying countless episodes of Midsomer Murders, Sherlock Holmes and Agatha Christie mysteries, he has come up with the perfect plan involving a can of paint and a bottle of cyanide: the perfect murder?
Joan (Sonia Saville) wants to feel wanted. At her wit’s end with Victor, she turns her hand to voluntary work and meets the dashing Don Kirk (Adam Morris) who sweeps her off her feet. The loved-up pair conspire to run away to Spain, but they need to get Victor out of the picture first. But how? An incredibly sugary cake and a couple of beers on their wedding anniversary should send Victor into a diabetic coma, and when Joan injects him with sugar water instead of insulin, surely it was all just a terrible mistake: the perfect murder?
Crime-writer Peter James’ super-sleuth DC Roy Grace (Nick Lawson) is called in to investigate the disappearance of a teenage boy, but his psychic consultant Kamila, who has a talent for locating murder victims just by holding one of their possessions, brings another potential case to his attention when Victor disappears. Can DC Grace solve the case, and will Victor turn up alive or dead?
I won’t spoil the fun by revealing who succeeds, but with the amount of double-crossing and underhand tactics at work, expect plenty of twists and surprises.
Set between the couple’s home just outside Brighton and Kamila’s room at The Kitten Parlour brothel, the action is fast-paced and well-timed, with every scene change played out with an appropriate soundtrack. Having every performance space laid out simultaneously on-stage keeps the action flowing, and a clever use of lighting leads the audience to where they need to be.
The attention to detail, as always at The Mill, is impeccable, from the photo frames on the sideboard to the flowers in the kitchen window, we are flawlessly immersed within the Smiley’s lives.
Many would believe that such a tale would leave you feeling down and depressed, especially on a cold and rainy January evening. But The Perfect Murder is full of incredible one-liners, comedic pauses and even a reference to The Mill’s famous next door neighbour (“It’s never George Clooney when you want it to be”, bemoans Joan when hearing about a tramp living in her neighbour’s shed). The couple verbally assault each other with a razor-sharp wit so cutting that you are convinced they have been married for 20 years too long.
Victor and Joan’s journey from fed-up, middle-class husband and wife to cold-blooded killers is carefully constructed, hugely entertaining, and definitely worth braving the cold evenings for.
The Perfect Murder runs at The Mill at Sonning until March 12. Tickets start from £43.50 which includes dinner and a programme. For more details visit www.millatsonning.com.
