If the previous week had been pivotal, last week extended the process as the UK government’s J-turn continued.
The J-turn is much grander than the U-turn as there’s lots of impressive steering wheel flailing and brake dabbing going on.
Its real benefit is that you don’t slow down or change direction so much as swap ends round. Instead of going backwards at 50mph you’re now going forwards at 50mph and can see the cliff face you’re headed for.
Cummings and goings
Act 1 of the J-turn was to jettison the losers as publicly as possible.
As the new communications director arrived at the front door of Number 10, her predecessor Lee Cain was slipped out the back. And if you’d believed that she was in tears over being briefed against by Cain, you’d missed the point.
Meanwhile the able one had allegedly started briefing against the Prime Minister, so he had to go.
Artfully staged in time for the 6 o’clock news, Dominic Cummings went out the front door – cardboard box of possessions in hand to show that he’d been fired – walking so that the media could milk the moment.
Staying put
With Cain and Able both done for, act two could follow.
And what a magnificent act it was when the Prime Minister went into self-isolation because he’d been in contact with someone who’d subsequently tested positive for Covid-19.
As a bit of political theatre conspicuously following lockdown rules, it was brilliant. Plenty of attention, can work at home for seven, 10 or 14 days (I forget) and no downsides.
So as long as the nation believes the PM is setting a good behavioural standard that is.
Ending the boycott
As well as making a statement in the House of Commons about a Covid vaccine, Mr Hancock-up broke the Government’s six-month boycott of Good Morning Britain by being out on the street to be interviewed by Piers Morgan.
After his ‘incredibly’ (seven times) ‘brilliant’ (three times) bit of speaking in the House, his behaviour at interview was like that of a puppy –tongue out, tail wagging. You couldn’t get a more engaging act.
Well perhaps you could, but ‘Mighty Matt’ was the boy sent to do a big job, and by golly he was going to do it.
All over the pavement too.
It wasn’t a pretty sight.
A Looser Cannon
Meanwhile, responding to the Farage of criticism following hardline Brexiteer Cummings’ departure, in the more rarified airs (and graces) of the Cabinet Office the Gove-ster, ‘call me Michael’, promptly went and launched a ‘Brexit Business Task Force’ (BBTF).
You could hear the capitals dripping from every word as he portentously opined that “it will be an important forum”.
But the BBTF announcement wasn’t on gov.uk, nor was it mentioned in Hansard.
I couldn’t even finding it in the communications trash-bin that is the Number 10 press archive.
Worried that Kent would just become a parking lot – or the Farage garage if you prefer – business leaders were bemused too; left wondering if Gove-he-meant would ever do his job properly and tell them what the Customs arrangements were going to be.
Generic Ghastliness
With civil servants allegedly suppressing the report into why Tweedledum had authorised Tweedledee’s lunch money and vice versa, Robert Jenrick’s department’s allocations from the New Towns Fund were alleged to be ‘politically motivated’.
This accusation came from the Public Accounts Committee – parliament’s watchdog on all matters fiscal.
But it wasn’t the worst of the Generic one’s woes of the week.
There’d been rumours in the weekend’s papers that his department was going to “rebalance” the new homes building target that local Conservative councillors and Conservative MP’s had strenuously objected to.
Another of his department’s local authorities had gone bust. In this case it was Labour-run Croydon Council which was drowning in circa one billion pounds of under-performing debt.
Then again, being interviewed by Naga Munchetty on BBC Breakfast, he claimed that the economy’s growth last month was “good news”.
And it might have been too, if it weren’t for his colossal insensitivity in ignoring the 50,000 people who’d died from Covid while the government was achieving this “good news”.
Viewers were furious, the press was furious. Number 10 was furious.
But it was the BBC’s Naga Munchetty who got replaced three days later.
The last word
If you’re wondering what motivates all this kerfuffle, you need go no further than counting forwards six months to the Local Elections in early May 2021.
Another lockdown’s coming too. Starting late April would be my guess.
