Once again we’re back in lockdown

And we’re smiling through our tears

But you’ll be at an advantage

If you’ve got bigger ears

The best ones to adorn your face

Will stick out at an angle

Then upon each drooping lobe

An earring you can dangle

With prominence and glory

Displayed so everybody sees

The benefit of lugholes

Stuck at forty-five degrees

First you fit the hearing aid

Snugly tucked behind each ear

This electronic gadget

That enables you to hear

Then you need your glasses

So you thread them through your hair

Wedged up against the hearing aid

There’s little room to spare

But now here comes the problem

To save the human race

A mask is stretched between your ears

To cover up your face

Now add to that a visor

Hooked on ears with arms of plastic

To irrevocably tangle

On the mask with the elastic

So with ears out of alignment

And claiming Herculean status

They’ve got to grow an inch or two

To support this apparatus

To save our little ‘shell-likes’

From the strain of mask and visor

We’ll be the first ones in the queue

For the vaccine made by Pfizer

Failing this there’s Darwin’s theory

Future evolutionary years

When out of shear necessity

We’ll all grow bigger ears

Jean Hill

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