Locals in Finchampstead and the surrounding areas were on high alert last Friday as reported sightings of a monster started coming in. Residents have been expressing concerns over strange noises and activities around Hogwood Lane Industrial estate over the last few weeks. Fears were confirmed, when a Monster was allegedly allowed loose into the wild.
As news was breaking, the Wokingham Paper was able to obtain some exclusive descriptors of the Monster from eye witness accounts. One concerned bystander claimed to have got a good view of the monster.
“I was scared, but it was also strangely alluring. It appeared in a green and black outfit, but underneath had a pale caramel appearance. I was nervous being so close, but something about it drew me in” said Andrew Muse.
As the day drew on, more and more reports started flooding into the newsroom, and Mandy Gofruit claimed to have had physical contact with the Monster.
“I was terrified, I’d read on Facebook all about it but you never expect to see these things yourself, and then all of a sudden there it was. I was completely overwhelmed by the Monster, and it was delicious.”
Amidst these strange reports of the public both fearing, but thoroughly enjoying the Monster, The Wokingham Paper reached out to local scientist Ben Rewer for comment:
“What we have here is a Tickle Monster. We know all about them, they’ve been here before some years ago. At that stage, the public was completely overcome with emotional response when contact with the Tickle Monster was had. You’ll experience pure delight. The Tickle
Monster is especially dangerous due to the rich fresh mango flavours; at 11%, we urge the public to be careful.”
Our photographer managed to capture this photo. We urge you to be vigilant.
This year’s return of The Tickle Monster has been sighted at Siren Craft Brew’s reopening indoor “Warehouse Garden”. The Warehouse Garden provides safe, distanced indoor seating that can be booked on Saturdays, or for walk-ins on Fridays. It’s this cosy and family
friendly environment where the Tickle Monster lurks, along with other liquid animals destined to try and take over your senses.
Stay safe out there folks.
