By Andrew Watson
For too long, we have been encouraged to view the challenges facing boys and men as entirely distinct from the needs of women and girls.
Lines are drawn on gender for no good reason; feminism is stoked up as against men, whilst the idea of male victimhood has gained notoriety in recent years.
There are challenges for, and between, men and women; but they won’t be solved by pitting us against each other; at the end of the day we are all of equal value.
As a man I am proud to be associated with the Women’s Equality Party. Equality matters to us all, men and women. I got involved with WEP as I have seen how inequality, regardless of gender, has a destructive impact.
Growing up in Northern Ireland in the 70’s and 80’s, gross inequality led to violence and sectarianism. ‘Difference’ was created to subjugate one community or the other. Neither side won; sadly a situation perpetuated even today.
This article is published just after two really important days for men and women have been recognised. International Men’s Day promotes positive wellbeing and mental health for men. White Ribbon Day this year is promoting “11 traits men and boys can nurture to help create a world of equality and safety for women.”
International Men’s Day provides a moment in time for us to recognise the damage gender inequality does to men and boys. Traditional ideas about masculinity can pose a great danger to men’s health, because they encourage risk-taking behaviour and discourage help-seeking or health-enhancing behaviour.
We know that men are more likely to die by suicide for a number of reasons including being less likely to seek help for suicidal thoughts than women. Instead they get caught up in perpetuating a societal view of maleness which includes not showing weakness.
Another example of this is that men experiencing domestic abuse seek help at much lower rates than would be expected given their numbers.
Suicide in trans and non-binary people is under-researched, however Stonewall have reported that almost half have thought about suicide. The gender based prejudice they face almost certainly plays a part in this.
White Ribbon is the UK’s leading charity engaging men and boys to end violence against women and girls. Wokingham Borough Council have recently adopted the White Ribbon standard; to encourage all men and boys to never use, excuse or remain silent about men’s violence towards women.
If you came along to the vigil last Friday, 7-8pm in Market Place you would have heard more about how you can personally help to achieve #TheGoal of ending violence against women and girls. With around 75% of domestic abuse incidents in Berkshire perpetuated by men against women, educating all men in how they can help end the culture that enables this is critical. White Ribbon Day this year is held just before the Men’s World Cup – the 11 (to reflect a football team!) traits being promoted are below:
Only through education and promotion of the equality of the sexes can we seek to redress the harms caused by ideas of gender norms. ‘Toxic’ masculinity is hurting both the sexes; and it’s all driven by traditional ideas of how we should behave.
As a father to three boys I have seen first hand how they have developed ideas in society of what a man or woman’s role is. I’ve heard the jokes and notions developed in their peer groups. And I have always challenged those notions; any mention of sexism, racism or ‘traditional’ notions of hierarchy, get spoken about and discussed. I encourage them to speak openly and honestly about what is troubling them rather than holding it all in and ‘manning up’.
We are currently facing a cost of living crisis which is having a huge impact on many people locally. The societal and economic costs of suicide, breakdowns, violence and misogyny all add to this crisis. Recognising the harms caused by gender inequality means we can start to challenge and overcome them. Society has always progressed by challenging the norms; we don’t need to settle for inequality. I, and the Women’s Equality Party, firmly believe that “Equality is Better for Everyone”.
To personally take the White Ribbon pledge visit: https://www.whiteribbon.org.uk/promise
Andrew Watson – Women’s Equality Party (WEP) PR Officer – Reading & Wokingham
