IS THERE a soul in the country who is not fed up with the coronavirus?
While the vaccines might rid ourselves of this troublesome pest, even with the lifting of lockdown restrictions we’re in a hokey cokey.
We can put our right arm in Spain, but the government’s mixed messaging means we’re in out, in out and shaking our heads all about as we’re not sure we can get our passports out or stick with the bottles of fake tan for another summer.
Travel within the UK is allowed again, thank goodness. It’s been so long since we’ve left Berkshire that even a day trip to Oxfordshire seems exotic.
Earlier this month, we managed to sit under umbrellas in the back garden of my parents. It was the first time in 15 months we’d been able to do so, and it also meant we came home with Christmas presents and beer bought for planned celebrations so long past that the bottles were out of date.
Still, stale beer was a small price to pay for an afternoon in torrential rain, mimicking our favourite spots like Margate and the Costa del Bognor Regis.
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As the nation gradually reopens, so does the transport network. Earlier this month National Express put its coaches back into gear, ferrying passengers from Mereoak to all over the country.
Once, a long time ago, in far happier days, I took the National Express from London Victoria to Bonnie Scotland. The overnight journey meant we hit the highlands as dawn arrived. The view of misty glens was nothing short of magical.
So it’s with similar anticipation that a tin of travel sweets dropped into my lap.
National Express has released a limited-edition collection featuring flavours inspired by the nation’s favourite dishes: Curry in honour of Birmingham, Wensleydale cheese and cranberry in a nod to Yorkshire, a Cornish pasty in honour of Skegness … not really, it’s in honour of Cornwall, of course.
The ones that were sent to our offices were fish n chip flavoured, inspired, say the marketing gurus, by day trips to the seaside or coastal holiday such as Devon, Brighton, Margate, and Blackpool.
Each is a boiled sweet. A proper one that you’d suck on and enjoy the sensations as first it glides around the tongue and then after as the insides of your mouth are puckered with the sugar.
But these are different.
On carefully prising open the tin, the unmistakable scent of fish n chips, with lashings of vinegar and plenty of salt, assault the nostrils. They look like sweets, but they smell like savoury. If you’ve ever made a coffee and thought you were about to drink a cup of tea, and your tastes buds struggle to make the mental switch, you’ll know what it’s like.
Chris Hardy, managing director of National Express UK Coach, said: “We’ve always been part of seeing friends and family, going to events, on day trips and holidays. We wanted to mark helping make this happen again in a fun way.
“Fish and chips and pork pies might not be the kind of flavours anyone would expect to taste in boiled sweet form, but each confectionery celebrates the wonderful diversity of the UK.
“We hope the tastes will take people to a place they’ve missed and can now happily and safely return to with National Express.”
Brave words Chris. No one who has sampled one of the delights from our tin has managed to suck it and see the end. One brave soul crunched their way through it and then needed several glasses of water.
It’s a lovely idea and the people who enjoyed these tins, winning them from YouTwitFace, will no doubt think the sweets are a pale imitation of the real thing.
Yes, it’s a taste of normal: the bitter disappointment of a wet and miserable day at the seaside. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
Now, where did my Kiss Me Quick hat go?
For more, visit www.nationalexpress.com/tastesofnormal
